Scattered Papers
by Tsubasa3
Summary: Tohru is cleaning the house innocently one day, and finds a paper tucked under Shigure's door. Does Tohru run the risk of being separated from the Sohmas, and what are Shigure's true feelings for Tohru?
1. Chapter 1

Scattered Papers

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya. I do not own the original storyline, characters, or anything else legally associated with Fruits Basket. No profit is being made from this.

Note: I have not written for a long time, so please forgive me if I'm rusty. I'm going to try to reconcile my old style and conventions in this, and make it something even better. Thank you for reading. (Also, this is told in first person from Tohru's point of view).

Scattered Papers: ch. 1

I never really visited Shigure's room. When I did, it was only for cleaning duties, or to find something for him; but even then, it was always very tidy and well-kept, with surprisingly few personal items. Shigure's room was a lot like a clean slate to me, but I never really even thought about it anyway.

I was alone in the house one day. Shigure had taken Yuki and Kyo to a meeting at the Sohma House; they had been going a lot lately, but I guess it just slipped my mind to realize they had been away from home so much lately. I decided that something constructive would be a good treat for idle hands that day, so I went upstairs to see if I could clean up Yuki's room. On the way up though, I passed a door I rarely took notice of, Shigure's room, and a paper was sticking halfway out under the door. Thinking it wasn't a good idea to snoop, I reached for the paper to quickly push it back under the door...but not before I saw something. My eye instinctively caught my name several times on the page, and I stopped abruptly. Reversing my action, I raised the paper to my eye level and began to read.

In a neat handwriting, the letter read: Dearest Akito, as much as we owe our loyal service to you as the Head of this family, we must disagree with your decision. Tohru has been an essential asset to our household, and has never done anything to compromise our safety of the Curse. She is a kind individual and will not do anything intentionally malicious, degrading, or compromising to our family and its need for secrecy. She is still an outsider to this family, and though she may not be related to us by blood, she has grown to have an affectionate hold on all of us, and continually assures us she will not betray our secret. With best regards, Shigure Sohma

After reading the letter, I felt immediately that I had done something wrong. I should not have read Shigure's letter, and I should not have done anything to anger Akito. I was unsure of what I had done to threaten the security of the Sohma family, but I felt immensely frightened I would be kicked out, or my memory erased.

Note: I know it was a very short first chapter, but they will progressively get longer. Thank you very much for reading! Comments of any kind are accepted.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Scattered Papers ch. 2

From that day forward, I lived with a constant regret of having read Shigure's letter. And even worse, I was afraid I was at risk of being ostracized from the Sohma family, or have my memory erased. How could I have posed any threat to the secrecy of the Sohma Curse? I asked myself this, and many other questions in the following days. Then I finally decided I had to tell Shigure. I had to take responsibility for my actions, and I needed to be honest with Shigure about what I had read.

I chose a calm afternoon one week later, when Yuki and Kyo were each out on a separate occasion and Shigure was in his quiet study. Feeling the sickening knot in my stomach tighten, I knew I had to carry through with this; it was the right thing to do, and Mom would've done the same. Assuring myself that what I was doing was right, I faintly tapped the wood paneling to his study.

"Yes?" his answer rang clear to me. I took a breathe and opened the door slowly.

"Shigure?" I said, stepping into his study. "I uh...wanted to talk to you, if that's okay. If you're busy, I can come back later." A part of me really hoped he was busy, but I held my ground.

"No, of course not," he answered. "What's troubling you, Tohru?" Shigure's voice was buoyant but intent. I took a seat across from him and began.

"Shigure, a few days ago, when you were out...I- I accidentally came across a...a letter you had written." Pausing for a moment to regain myself, I then continued while making an effort to not catch Shigure's eyes. "It was sticking out from under your door, and I was about to tuck it back in when..." I faded suddenly, wondering and afraid if I could go on.

"Yes, Tohru?" Shigure urged gently.

"I noticed my name though," I continued, fastening my gaze to the wall ahead and away from Shigure. "I read it." I began to choke then, tears welling up in my throat. "It was a letter to Akito. He thought I was a threat to the Curse," I said, feeling a sob escape my throat. I led my head fall onto my chest, clutching my hands in my lap and waiting for Shigure's response. He didn't answer immediately; tension grew in my chest.

"There's no use in trying to hide it from you, Tohru," he finally responded in well-planned words. "This is not the first time your loyalties have been questioned. This whole family has some reservations about you; not you personally, but because we have to. We have to be cautious of who we let into this family...because of what could happen to them...and sometimes even to us too." Shigure paused for a moment, thinking carefully of his next words. "Yuki, Kyo, and I know you would never betray our trust; I have seen you fight to protect this family and its situation many times. Akito, however, is not so trusting. The recent visits to the House have been to discuss that. We won't let him take you away or erase your memory. Tohru, I...we love you very much. Please don't be afraid."

Tears still streamed down my face; not of fear, but of relief. Shigure wasn't mad or upset; he was being kind to me, and comforting me by telling me he'd protect me too, just as I had done for them. I brushed my hand across my eyes to wipe away the tears and gave a weak smile.

"Thank you, Shigure," I said. "I trust you, and I trust Yuki and Kyo. Thank you." I then left the room, feeling an immense relief, as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: see first chapter

Scattered Papers ch. 3

Initially, Shigure's words were a comfort to me; Shigure said Akito often did abrupt things such as this, but would usually retire his case just as quickly. However, as time went on, I became more and more unsure; I was unendingly afraid of being expelled from the Sohma household. I had done nothing, but that meant nothing to Akito.

One day, Shigure recieved a phone call from Hatori.

"Hari, what's wrong?" Shigure said immediately upon answering. "He does? Now? I- I'll be right there." Setting down the phone, Shigure called Yuki and Kyo. "Akito has called a meeting. Get ready!"

"Shigure, what's going on?" I asked.

"Akito has called a family meeting. We have to be there. You understand, don't you Tohru?" he said. My forced smile gave him answer enough.

Within minutes, Shigure, Kyo, and Yuki were out of house. I was alone again. Slumping down to the floor, I felt helpless. Naturally I had always been a presence of concern to the family, but it still felt strange to know the whole zodiac was currently discussing my fate, and I had nothing to say about it. They could argue all they wanted, but Akito's word was still supreme. I knew there must be some goodness in Akito, but I always became afraid of his decisions anyway.

Night fell, and the others weren't back. I wasn't worried, as I knew this could take some time, but I felt anxious for verdict to know if I should cry or rejoice. Just as I decided to go to bed, Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo came through the door, solemn expression on all their faces. Shigure was in his study before I could say a word, and Kyo had immediately gone to his room. I stood alone with Yuki.

"Yuki, what's wrong? What happened?" I asked, nervousness and uncertainty evident in my voice. Yuki looked at me and paused before speaking.

"You would've found out anyway, so there's no point in keeping this from you. The debate became heated today. Akito wants you out; he is fervent in his decision. We...we thought Akito would go through with it, but...Shigure stood up in the middle of the meeting and he...he told Akito he would never let him do this to you. He would never let Akito take you out of this house and away from us...or he would leave the family and expose every one of us." Yuki finished with a sigh, and broke his gaze from me. I was speechless.

"Yuki, how..." I faded, realizing my words were superfluous.

"Do you know what this means, Tohru?" Yuki said. "No one has ever dared to speak against Akito. It's unheard of. Akito rules us with a will stronger than any god; Shigure has...endangered himself for you. I am sorry to say it, but as much as Kyo and I care about you also, it is something we would hesitate to do." Yuki went to his room then, and I was alone. Standing alone in the hallway, I cried softly.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: see first chapter

Scattered Papers ch. 4

I knew what Shigure had done on my behalf, and Shigure knew that I knew what he had done on my behalf. I didn't want it to be awkward, so I tried my best to act cheery and ignorant. A few days after the incident, Shigure finally confronted me about the actions he had taken at the Sohma House. Shigure had spoken out agaist Akito, and had endangered himself to Akito's wrath in the process.

"Tohru, can I talk to you for a second, please?" Shigure asked me. I could immediately sense what was coming.

"Yes, of course," I replied with a forced smile. It was probably pointless to keep trying to act cheery when we both knew what had happened.

"Yuki...told you about...the Sohma meeting, I take it?" he said, leading me into the privacy of his study. I nodded that I knew of the meeting. "And you...know what I did?" Shigure pressed, turning his back to me. I nodded again silently. "And do you know why I did it, Tohru?" I shook my head this time, and a silence soon fell upon us.

"Why _did_ you do it, Shigure?" I finally asked, unable to bear it anymore. Shigure turned toward me.

"It's selfish," he said softly as he lowered his gaze. "I suppose I was protecting my own interests. I just didn't want to be destroyed myself...Though I think I've gotten myself into more trouble than I anticipated. I made an error at the Sohma House...but I don't regret it either. I meant what I said." His words affected me deeply, and I found myself at a loss for expressing what I felt. "Yuki, Kyo, and I...we all need you very, very much."

"But- What did you mean by 'protecting your own interests'?" I asked. Shigure turned to me as if surprised I actually asked.

"It means we love you, Tohru, so very much. It means that _I_ love you," Shigure whispered. I began to stammer uncontrollably.

"Sh- Shigure..." I found myself again at a loss of words. I simply fell into his embrace and sobbed softly. I felt so overwhelmed and thankful to know I was so fervently loved and protected by all three of them; they were all my princes, and Shigure represented something special.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: see first chapter

Scattered Papers ch. 5

The new year would be coming upon us soon, and Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo would be visiting the Sohma House as usual. However, I was invited too; Akito had sent word through Hatori to Shigure that I should attend the party as well, for _special reasons_. Needless to say, the anxiety I felt over attending the banquet was more than distracting. But finally, New Year's Eve came, and it was time to go to the Sohma House. My anxiety reached new heights.

Upon arriving at the grand Sohma House, all four of us were led into a large room and directed to our seats; I had to sit only with Kyo however, as all the Zodiac members sat together. Before we knew it, the festival was already underway. Not long after though, while the festivites created a soft chatter in the hall, I suddenly heard a voice behind me. It was Momiji.

"Tohru, can you come with me?" Momiji asked softly, making eye contact with Kyo as if to silently warn him not to interfere.

"Um, sure," I replied, leaving my seat. I felt a knot in my stomach begin to form, but I stood reluctantly. Briefly, I caught Shigure's eye from across the room, but quickly followed Momiji as he led me into a back hall. He led me past several rooms, turned, and finally stopped at a dimly lit room with the door standing open slightly.

"I have to leave you here, Tohru," Momiji said, and gave a weak but encouraging smile. As Momiji left, I had an instincual feeling of who would be behind that door. I took a breathe and stepped into the room.

"Good evening, Miss Honda," a slithery and fluid voice said as I entered. "I thought you'd be here right about now. Please, sit."

"I thought you'd be at the banquet," I said in an obvious, but futile, attempt at friendly and unthreatening conversation.

"Normally I would be," Akito replied. "but I have far more _pressing_ matters on this occasion...Miss Honda. Do you understand the implications against you?" his voice writhed. I gulped.

"Shigure tells me...that I am at risk of being...expelled." The word _expelled_ gave me a brief wave of fear before I continued. "If you expel me, what will happen to Shigure?" I urged, worry evident in my voice. Akito grinned with underlying malice.

"Miss Honda, don't act like it's the end of the world. You'll have a private meeting with Hatori, and...simply forget," Akito explained, as if it was an all too simple and trivial matter. "You can still be friends with us; you just won't know _about_ us, is all. No one will be punished _severely_, and I promise you'll never hear of it." Akito made it sound so easy, but I knew better; I knew of Kana and Hatori, and the pain it caused everyone.

"I understand what you're saying, but I still don't know why" I said. "I know my words don't mean anything to you, but the most I can give you is the truth: that I kept my word, and have honored by sworn secrecy of your family's...condition. I would never betray you, or your family." I paused briefly and tried to collect myself. "The curse that you and your family live with is something private and personal, something that could threaten their place in society and life. I don't know the actual consequences of revealing the truth, but I can imagine, and I know it would be cruel and unfair to subject any one, or group, to such betrayal of trust." As I finished, I felt a despairing sigh fall from my lips. I had done nothing to help my cause. This was too much for me.

"Very touching, Miss Honda," Akito said as he began to rise above my sitting form. "But begging won't get you anywhere" he said almost casually. "I warn you, Miss Honda. Never, _ever_ speak of my family that way again, or I will have you punished." Akito's voice was beginning to become threatening, and I felt helplessness in the back of my mind. "Pretending like you understand us won't win you sympathy or forgiveness!" Akito suddenly yelled. "We act friendly toward you because we have to, but we know what the consequences are! Don't you dare think we're not taking any chances by associating with you!" I gasped and felt my hand move to heart. I was so worried, I could feel tears threatening my eyes.

"Akito, I know I can never even begin to imagine your family's pain, but I do know that the Zodiac is only a small part of the Curse. It _isn't_ fair that I be accepted so willingly into your family, but I have been despite the consequences. I can't name all the touching things that Shigure, Yuki, Kyo, and all the other Sohmas have done for me, and for that I am always thankful. The kindness they have shown me I couldn't return in a lifetime; keeping the Sohma Curse is the least I could do. I want to do more, and I try to all the time, but I am forever indebted to the Sohmas. For a family with so much pain in their lives, they're truly wonderful and gracious people." As I stopped, I thought I may have dimmed Akito's anger vaguely. "We all love you, Akito," I said, trying to ilicit some kind of a response. Akito turned suddenly and slapped me.

"Silence yourself, girl. Only wretched bitches such as yourself say such lies as-"

"Akito." Akito and I turned. In our fret, we had neglected to notice the door open. Shigure sat on bended knees at the threshold of the door. "The ceremonies are beginning," said Shigure. Akito turned to glare at me, and then returned his gaze to Shigure's reverent form.

"Yes; I'll be there," Akito replied, and left the room quickly.

I gasped and began to sob uncontrollably as Shigure threw his arms around me and began to rock me back and forth gently.

"Tohru, I'm so sorry," he said, and kissed my head. "I knew something was wrong when Momiji led you out of the hall. I was so scared for you, Tohru." Shigure's voice was beginning to crack, and it looked as if he was almost in tears. I clutched at his shirt and welcomed the safety his arms brought.

"Shigure, why-"

"Sshh," Shigure softly silenced me. "No words, Tohru, no words."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: see chapter one

Scattered Papers ch. 6

Up to that point, I didn't think I had any "feelings" for Shigure. Only after that night at the Sohma House, did I start to consider what Shigure had said and begin to question my own feelings toward Shigure. It was entirely possible what Shigure had said was just out of friendship and compassion; it was just a simple 'I love you'. If I assumed things, it could mean consequences. Of course, Yuki and Kyo knew all about what had happened; I didn't even have to explain it to them.

A few days later though, I passed Kyo in the house. He abruptly stopped and gave me a strange look. I blinked at him, wondering what he was doing.

"Are you freakin' blind?" he finally said. I gave Kyo a confused look.

"I, um...Kyo, what are..." I jumbled over my words. Kyo gave me a "you're-hopeless" look and stalked off as usual. Feeling a bit jumbled over this encounter, I decided it would just be better to ignore it. Everyone did strange things sometimes, and Kyo was certainly no exception. I didn't think too much about the encounter, until Shigure started to act distant.

The first indication happened around a week after the New Year. I had been planning to go shopping. I found Shigure in his study to inquire about the shopping list.

"Shigure, did you want salmon or herring?" I asked. He glanced up from his computer, his glasses reflecting light. He held my eyes with a melancholy gaze before glancing down to the screen.

"It doesn't matter. Um, herring's fine. Just get...whatever." This answer seemed perfectly adequate to me, and continued to fully absorb himself in his work. This behavior seemed highly uncharacteristic of Shigure, but I decided that it would be best to simply leave him alone about it for the time being.

From that day forward, Shigure and I talked as usual, but the air was always suffocating with a foreign awkwardness, which I was quite unsure of its origin. I did notice something else though; Shigure never smiled at me anymore. He would occasionally give an obviously forced smile, but his eyes were always melancholy.

It was only the beginning though. There would come a day when my world would spiral out of my control. Shigure had been smiling speaking cordially with a Hari one day, and I happened to pass by. By instinct, Shigure turned and our eyes met. He had been smiling; when he saw me, it was unmistakeable. Shigure's face had insantly gone from a smile to a frown at seeing me. It was as if all happiness left his face. Without even realizing it, Shigure was now at the gears to my emotions. That encounter haunted me for the following days.

I decided to ask Yuki about it. Yuki would be able to keep things to himself, and since he knew Shigure so well, he might be able to give me some insight into Shigure's previous actions.

"You know what happened, Yuki?"

"Kyo and I have found ways to come to know about these things. What is it?"

"Shigure has been acting...distant, don't you think?" I said. Yuki paused for a moment to consider.

"Certainly not to me or Kyo, but I've noticed that he hasn't been quite himself around you lately," he finally said.

"Do you know why?" I asked.

"Oh, well, I have an educated guess," Yuki replied, trying to remain aloof in his answer.

"What?" I asked, maybe a little too strongly.

"Miss Honda, I...Am I really at the liberty to tell you? I mean, I'm not the one in love with you, am I?"

Yuki's words left me paralyzed. I suddenly knew why Shigure had done what he had done. Thinking upon it, anyone would've done what Shigure did; it was only natural. Shigure thought I had rejected him after his confession, so he tried to pretend he was unaffected. I had to do something.

NOTE: Yes, yes, I know- it's a cliffhanger! Just calm down; the next chapter will be up soon. I apologize it took so long to get this one up, but I had to formulate such a stunning close to this particular chapter. I do hope you have enjoyed my story thus far, and continue to be patient with my writer's mind. Much thanks.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: see first chapter

Scattered Papers ch. 7

When I first met Shigure Sohma, that day walking to school, I saw something in his eyes. Something drew me to him from the start, but I always attributed it to us being kindred spirits, good friends. Of course it would've been easier and more acceptable to find a romantic connection with Yuki or Kyo, but somehow I never felt my heart sway that way for either of them. Yuki and Kyo were always dear to me, but over time, I realized I only felt such an elusive, alluring, and almost provocative force with Shigure. I had friendship with Shigure, but deep down, I had always wanted more. Now my opportunity was here, and I had take grasp of it. That was the only problem- how? I decided to take action; I wrote Shigure a letter.

The letter read, in my most considerate prose: Dearest Shigure, as the turmoil with Akito has finally subsided, I feel that now I am full liberty to express my true feelings. But first, I must apologize for not understanding your words and taking them more lightly than you intended. I tried not to understand your words, but I can now face your every intention with my own response. Shigure, I fully and entirely reciprocate your affections. I love you; I have, I do, and I will. With pleasant regards always, Tohru.

After writing the letter, I slipped it easily under Shigure's door. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted, and I could see the same reaction in Shigure when I saw him again. Ironically however, we did not speak of our feelings immediately. For several weeks our affections were limited to intimate gazes and fleeting touches. It all changed at the next visit to Sohma House. Momiji had requested a visit, and we promptly attended.

"Shigure, how unpleasant to see you again," Hari said upon greeting Shigure again.

"Oh Hari, I see you're just the incestuous freak you were last time I saw you," Shigure proclaimed, taking Hatori in a suffocating death grip.

"How is Akito?" Shigure asked, suddenly turning serious and releasing Hari.

"Alive. His fever spiked alarmingly yesterday, but his symptons have since decreased in intensity. I hate to say it, but sometimes I wish Akito would become ill more often than he does; it's the only time I can manage him. He's not nearly as violent when ill. He's forgotten all about Tohru since his recent illness. His whims come and go so unpredictably. He should be better within a few days."

"I wasn't worried," Shigure replied, reassuring Hari of his obvious disregard for Akito's inconsistent health.

"I was aware, Shigure. Please, take a seat."

The day passed in fair monotony; I played several games with Momiji, while Kyo and Yuki were engaged, as usual, in a death brawl. Evening had come quickly and Momiji had soon tired of hide and seek. Momiji left, and I took a seat outside on the porch, listening to leaves rustle and wind play tunes through the trees. I was not long after accompanied by Shigure.

"Do you mind if I take a seat?" he asked, sliding down next to me and letting his eyes relax on me for a moment before moving on.

"Please. It's always better to share a nice evening with a friend than alone," I replied. Shigure was quick respond.

"That's what I've been wanting to talk to you about. I don't want to be 'friends' with you, Tohru. I want to make love to you." I jumped at his words, but the shock was soon replaced by a comforting warmth. "Akito has miraculously decided that you're now guilt-free. But Tohru, I want you to know that I meant everything I said over these last few months. If Akito had posed any danger to you, I would've left the family with Yuki and Kyo. You don't realize it, Tohru, but you're all we have. I just happen to want you in a different way than the others. I want to love you for the beautiful and amazing woman that you are, and not just for the friendly comfort you so willingly give out. I want you, Tohru Honda, so bad."

"Oh Shigure," I sobbed, flinging my arms around his neck and savoring his warmth. Briefly Shigure pulled away, and held me at a respectable but intimate distance. His hand curved to tilt my chin, and he firmly pressed his lips to mine. The world soon disappeared.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Shigure and Tohru, Kyo and Yuki stood watching from quite a distance away. The normal hostilities of the day had worn both to the point of extreme exhaustion. Now both were silent, each lost in their worlds. However, Yuki was slightly more aware of Kyo than Kyo knew.

"Hey, Kyo, you see that?" Yuki said, pointing to the faint shadow of Shigure and Tohru in the distance. The shadows were joined, showing no distinction between separate forms.

"What is it?" Kyo said impatiently.

"Oh, nothing. Just this, you fucking damn cat!" he said, forcefully taking hold of Kyo's chin and smashing his lips against the warmth of Kyo's mouth. "There," Yuki said, roughtly releasing Kyo's face. "We'll settle this later. Alone." Kyo, needless to say, was stunned.

Scattered Paper- END

Note: I know, I know, I know! I just couldn't help it! Deep down I really am a shonen-ai fan too! Please don't hate me. I hope you enjoyed reading my story. Thanks!


End file.
